Glass House

My world is weirder than your world.

Wednesday, December 08, 2004

No one's asking you to believe it.

I don't think it's possible to create a first blog post that doesn't sound forced or self-conscious. So I won't try. Dana says this has been on my mind for a while. She would know -- though sometimes I think she talks out of her ass, to get what she wants done.

I'm James. If you aren't already in my circle of unusuals, here's what's important:

  1. I'm invisible.
    I mean this literally. It's not a metaphor; it's not a bitch about my social life. I mean that light does not reflect off of my body, nor things under my influence. This is not some superpower I gained from a comic book genesis story. Nothing radioactive bit me. I was born this way. I can't turn it off.
  2. Most of my friends are stranger than me.
    They'd have to be, really. I know two telepaths. My best friend's telekinetic and hits on men with his mind. My housemate's unstuck in time. My girlfriend (I think it's safe to call her that) warps spacetime. --And those are just some of the people whose faces I know. I've got weirder acquaintances online, though some of them of course I just don't believe.
  3. We, uh, fight crime.
    Sometimes. It's fair to mention that sometimes we commit crime, though none of the really bad ones, so far. And sometimes we use our power just to get the good seats at the movies.
Implausible? No shit. But it's my life.

It isn't boring.


At December 9, 2004 at 11:12 AM, Blogger Shadow Nose said...

James sweetie - BULLshit!! You've been rehearsing that post to yourself for 3 days at least. i told you to do it to shut you up. i'm NEVER selfish.

Oh and by the way your color scheme sucks. Bye now!

At December 9, 2004 at 12:27 PM, Blogger iJames said...

Ha. Everyone, meet Dana. (Not her real name, but then, neither is "The Shadow," with or without a nose.)

Dana's one of the telepaths I was just telling you about. As you can see, she uses her talent with the utmost discipline and restraint.

Speaking of, D, how the hell did you get this URL? I haven't told it to anyone yet. Are you peering into people's heads now to fucking Google them?

At December 9, 2004 at 12:41 PM, Blogger Shadow Nose said...

no you asshole i got it from Jon.

At December 12, 2004 at 9:34 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear mister James person,

I'm afriad I don't believe any of this. How do we know youre not really the tooth fairy?

-The N

At December 13, 2004 at 1:07 AM, Blogger iJames said...

Nick, you're a moron. I mean that in the nicest possible way.


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